Potty Talk

We’ve overcome the hurdle that is potty training with Harrison. It was a lot easier than I anticipated, since usually these kinds of milestones come with a litany of crises. Some people say boys are easier to train; others say girls are. I’ll let you know my stance on that argument once we train Ella (check back in a few years).

Harrison has a few things about this bathroom business figured out.

1. He loves an audience. As a matter of fact, he insisted everyone in child watch at the gym report to the stall to watch him pee last week. Twice. In one night. Luckily the other kids were good sports.

2. Poop is awesome. Every time he poops, he stands up to inspect his work. He’s always quite impressed with what he sees. Recent comments include, “Look Mom! Look how many!” and “Wow, it looks like an elephant!”

3. He must be a distant relative of Elvis. Now, I’ve heard the cheerio trick, where you put a cheerio in the toilet to help boys aim. This wouldn’t fly with my kid. He’s figured out that gyrating his hips makes for much more fun when taking a leak. He likes to yell out “Wahooo!” while he’s doing it. Fantastic.

4. When you have to go in public, it’s best to yell about it real loud so Mom and Dad will take you as fast as possible. We were at a somewhat important event at my father-in-law’s place of employment, and Harrison, out of the blue (and in the middle of a tour) screamed, “Mama, I have to go stink right now!” You can guess what stink is. So could the rest of the shipyard.

5. He’s got some room to grow. Apparently, a few weeks ago, Harrison was bemoaning the size of his, well you know. Justin reassured him that he’d grow soon, and that it wasn’t anything to worry about. How on earth does my two year old already have a concept of the “size matters” theory?!

6. This is the only time in life someone’s going to tell you to focus on your penis. I have caught myself WAY TOO MANY times yelping out, “Pay attention to your penis!” when Harrison gets distracted midstream and starts to make a mess. I need to find a way to let him know that no woman will ever say this to him again.

I think all parents should pride themselves on the completion of this milestone. After all, who would your kid be if he or she couldn’t pee alone on the potty? It’s a big deal.

We’re really loving life over here in Lightning McQueen underpants.

Author: livefromtimeout

When I'm not refereeing my two children, I like to workout and drink wine. But not at the same time. Teaching happens to be my vocation and my passion.

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