lemons and diapers

Dear Wal-Mart Cashier:

Today, you were bored. You stood at the self checkout line to facilitate transactions that customers were supposed to complete on their own. Normally, I would appreciate your assistance; however, today, you took your job a little too far.

Yes, I know my son was a bit antsy. He was ready to leave the store and the checkout aisle was not at all interesting to him. But, he doesn’t need anyone to tell him to be quiet except me. Sure, he picked up some candy from the displays that your company so conveniently placed at his eye level. If he shouldn’t try to pry the package open with his teeth, I should be the one to redirect him, not you.

Meanwhile, I’m looking up the SKU for lemons. It would have helped me if you knew the SKU of lemons. But you didn’t even know I was scanning lemons.

My sleeping daughter? The one completely content in her carseat in the grocery cart? Yes, she would have stayed asleep had you not prodded her awake. But, here we all are, eyes wide open, and a little ornery about it. Could you not though?? Could you not touch her tiny little feet and hands?? Could you just have let her rest? Because, that nap was my saving grace, and now the peace in my life is over.

In the meantime, the ginormous box of diapers I’m trying to purchase won’t scan. Do you know how to scan this box? Because I could use some help. Instead you’re telling my son not to do anything except breathe.

And now that you have criticized my little boy to the point where I must intervene; where his free roaming is constricted to the shopping cart seat, you have done enough. But no, you decide to taunt him by taking his toy dinosaur away from him. You think it’s a silly joke, but my boy wants his dinosaur. And then you tickle him. You prod him and poke him and pick at him and I don’t know why on earth you think this is ok.  GET  OFF MY KID, lady. Scan some lemons, and leave my children and me alone.

Author: livefromtimeout

When I'm not refereeing my two children, I like to workout and drink wine. But not at the same time. Teaching happens to be my vocation and my passion.

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