Captain Underpants

This morning, Harrison asked me to come into the bathroom to help him. I always get nervous when I hear him call me from the loo. He’s gotten into all sorts of trouble in the bathroom, so sometimes he needs help wiping; other times, he’s flooded the tub or unraveled all the toilet paper. Today, when I arrived, it was simply that his underpants had slipped off his ankles while he was doing his business. “This will be easy to learn, buddy,” I say. “You just slip your feet through these holes and then pull them up.” Delighted that this was a quick fix, I returned to sip my coffee and watch the Today Show.

Now, I have been trying to catch at least one full segment of the Today Show for three years now, and it hasn’t happened, so I don’t know why I thought this morning would be any different. As soon as my coffee was to my lips, I saw Harrison exiting the bathroom with his underpants AROUND HIS NECK. The best part is, he looked at me as if this might be a completely reasonable way to wear underpants. It is not, my friends. It is not.

How does one mistake his neck for his feet? I do not know, but I also do not know what was going on on the Today Show, or how my morning coffee tasted, because I had to go unravel him from that mess. On a completely unrelated note, here is a picture of him putting his shirt on yesterday:


Author: livefromtimeout

When I'm not refereeing my two children, I like to workout and drink wine. But not at the same time. Teaching happens to be my vocation and my passion.

4 thoughts on “Captain Underpants”

  1. I just LOVE this grandson of mine! My good God in heaven couldn’t top these stories. I laughed so hard that I cried reading this. (Don’t tell him that his grammy has actually put her legs in the wrong holes on underpants recently and felt uncomfortable, not understanding that there was one leg in a leg hole, one in the waist hole and the waist was around the other leg. It’s hard being 3 and it’s hard being 61.

    Liked by 1 person

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