It’s a little too cold for this

5:30 am. My alarm goes off. I roll over, and check my phone for important messages. Just kidding. I checked Facebook. My “memories” popped up this morning and it turns out that January 5th hasn’t been all that successful for me in the past:

January 5, 2015: “In case anyone was interested, putting your coffee cup under the Keurig when brewing yields much better results than letting coffee spill all over your counter. You’re welcome.”

January 5, 2014: “This morning, I tried to put my contact lens in my ear and then I found about two dozen pine needles in my bra. I think it’s time for a drink.”

I giggled, hopped out of bed, and began to prepare for my workout, when I heard, “MOOOOOMMMMMYYYY” being cried from upstairs. Good God, I thought. It should really be against the rules to inhibit your mother from working out before the sun comes up. I mean, what else are those two going to come up with next? First it was all their free waking time, now they apparently need to haunt me in their sleep. Will they take my soul next? Yes. Yes, they will. Luckily I diffused the situation with some simple bribery and went on my way to work out.

The weird thing about my workout was that I didn’t sweat a drop. I initially thought I might not be working so hard, or maybe I had gotten so strong that it wasn’t challenging to me anymore (don’t judge-this was before my first cup of coffee. I get a little delusional that early). Then I realized it was our heat. Our heat wasn’t working. And despite the global warming phenomenon we’ve been experiencing here in Maine, the weather suddenly decided to drop from 50 degrees at the end of December to four degrees this morning. FOUR DEGREES people. And our heat wasn’t working.

I was rushing around the house after showering to get the kids ready for preschool. It turned out to be one of those mornings where Ella was whining about everything she could think of and Harrison managed to put his clothes on inside out and upside down (don’t think too hard on that one, but trust me that it is possible) over his pajamas. Maybe the cold was getting to his head. I finally pacified Ella with a granola bar, and got Harrison into his clothes in a way that the preschool teacher wouldn’t think of calling Child Services on me, and then I went to make a cup of coffee. My Keurig started flashing its lights in an erratic manner, and then proceeded to drip one tiny drop at a time. I truly believe it was saying, “Drip…drip…how long can you wait for this cup to fill?” Well we will never find out because I left the house in all its frozen pleasure, and the Keurig along with its sassy attitude to head to Dunkin’ Donuts.

I love to drink lattes but since I’m on this 21 Day Fix, and I was trying to be good, I just ordered a black coffee. I even picked up a cup for my friend, thinking that even if I was having a rough morning I could still be a kind girl. I pulled up to the drive through window and that fu%$ing thing would NOT OPEN. The cashier looked at me fretfully while leaning against it, trying to pry it open with her bare hands. Then she tried banging on it. Then I cried. She gave me a pitiful look and put her hands up as if to say, “I don’t know what to do!” Of course I had tweedle dee and tweedle dum in the back seat hoping for donuts but there was no way, no how I was getting the three of us out of the car to go inside and get our stuff. And if you’re keeping track, yes, my daughter DID have a granola bar and a donut for breakfast. Judge away. FINALLY, another employee managed to open the door, and I was able to collect myself before dropping the kids off at school.

Justin came home early to fix the heat and found me in bed. He side eyed me and I know he was thinking, “I KNEW she just napped all day while I was at work,” but seriously, you’d go back to bed if you were me too after that kind of day. Also, next January 5th, you can find me right back in that bed all day. I’m not going to take any chances next year.

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