I’m Baaaaccckkkkk

I have returned from the abyss. But only for a few hours, folks, because it’s a school night.

The writing has been nonexistent lately due to this strange idea I had late last spring. I thought I should go and get myself a job. If you’re wondering why a woman, whose family is financially stable and completely happy without her employment might go and do such a thing, you clearly are not in the throes of raising a toddler and pre-schooler. The fact of the matter is that being a stay at home parent is a completely different kind of hard from any I have experienced. When I applied for this new position, I had visions of 30 minute lunches and uninterrupted bathroom breaks dancing in my head. I would be HELPING people! I would be teaching the future of America!

But, you guys, it’s still hard. Teaching is hard. Being away from the kids is hard. It has been a difficult transition for all of us. This new configuration has provided for some very interesting experiences thus far. Here are a few. 

Justin expressed to me the difficulty of getting the kids out of the house in the morning. He said I simply would not understand how frustrating it is to get them to daycare (after I dressed them, fed them, packed them, and brushed their teeth). Naturally, I had to feign surprise. After all, who let the valet driver go that has been taking them everywhere for the past four years?! We shoulda kept her around.

Since I’m teaching high school now, I’ve been learning all sorts of new things. Many of these things I cannot publish. I can say that my students are already incredibly adept at the inner workings of the legal system. Everyone says you learn best by experience.

You can only get cell phone reception from my classroom if you’re hanging halfway out the window.

Sixth graders and twelfth graders are not much different. As a matter of fact, all of my former tactics work with the bigger kids just as well as with the younger ones.

No matter how early I wake up to work out before I have to leave, Harrison wakes up earlier. I can’t even win at 5 am.

A student spent a good five minutes trying to ask me if I had a discman he could use. It took so long because he truly did not know the difference between a walkman and a discman, and described both as “that thing you put an 8 track into”…

In Pre-K, Harrison’s class operates on a green-yellow-red system for behavior management. Several times I have considered using this for my own classroom.

There are new words that the kids use these days, including: “legit” (meaning actually, or really), “same” (to refer to one who has had a similar experience or feeling), and “‘magine”, which is short for imagine; meaning ‘wouldn’t you know’ or ‘can you believe it?’ I find this one-word vocabulary to be incredibly in sync with their appreciation for and obsession over texting, and the desire to communicate with the fewest words possible.

Grumpiness is all around me. The students. My kids. It’s like everyone is a constant state of PMS. Speaking of which, I accidentally flung a tampon across the desk today when I was pulling out my materials to teach math class.

Ella informed me the other day that she held hands with a boy at preschool. Because Ella is Ella, it was not a matter-of-fact comment; rather, it was a “What are you gonna do about it” comment. Sweet Jesus, people. She is only two.

Harrison has already lost his winter coat and it is not even winter yet. That kid is one hell of an over achiever.

Packing lunches sucks.

Well, folks, I do apologize for taking such a hiatus. I’ve missed this. And, naturally, with a whole repertoire of new stories, I really should bounce back soon here once I get my schedule under control.

Author: livefromtimeout

I am a stay at home mom of two vivacious toddlers, ages one and three. When I'm not refereeing, I like to workout and drink wine. But not at the same time.

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