Just Another Monday

I don’t know, you guys. It was quite a Monday I had. Around every corner, a new and special surprise was waiting for me. My work days start out very early because I like to wake up and exercise. Just kidding. I like to not be fat, so I wake up and exercise. I figure 5am is the one time of day where I can get anything done uninterrupted. Sometimes I am proven wrong with this theory, as I was on this particular morning. Harrison decided it was time for an early soiree, so, alas, my alone time was interrupted by a four year old demanding breakfast.

No worries though, because I had at least managed to get some exercise in. I flew into the bathroom and hopped into the shower. I had the courtesy to say good morning to my husband, which isn’t always the case that early in the morning. In the shower, I was thinking about how awesome I am for A) getting fit and in shape and B) kindly greeting another human being before 6am. That was until I realized it was Justin’s birthday. Wife of the year, here, nice to meet you.

In my defense, because I clearly need some, I had an important observation at work first thing, so I was a bit distracted. Once I made it into the car and on my way, I re-centered myself, turned my optimism on, and then the phone rang. It was Justin telling me that he didn’t have any car seats. I was officially ready to turn around and go home so I could crawl into bed and start the day over. It turns out that I, did not, in fact, have the car seats, but I only realized this after ten minutes of beating myself up over the whole thing and blaming myself for putting my children in grave danger.

The next obstacle was to somehow survive my observation. You guys, I’ve been observed zillions of times, but not very often by the superintendent and several other administrators all at once; and NEVER EVER have I been observed when teaching math.  You know why? Because I DON’T TEACH MATH. Except, sometimes I do. And one of those times happens to be Monday morning in a carpentry class. (If you know nothing else about me, you should know that I have no place near numbers or power tools. This was going to be FANTASTIC.) The good news is that I did survive that observation, and the superintendent survived too.

As most days that begin in a whirlwind go, so followed the rest of my work day. I was in somewhat of a spiral for the remainder of the day, what with it snowing and all. I was surprised to find out that even seniors in high school are completely inattentive to classroom happenings when the flakes are falling for the first time of the season. A special fun fact about my classroom is that some genius thought it’d be a good idea to exclude screens from my windows. So, naturally, why WOULDN’T kids want to open the window, stick their tongues out, and catch snowflakes in the middle of my lesson on comma placement? The cool part about teaching seniors, though, is that the show must go on, and so I did. They’ll have to make up for their lack of focus on their own time (Score for secondary ed!).

I left work quickly to drive (in the snow) to pick up a Christmas gift for Justin. The gift happens to be a large one so I had to make arrangements for the thing to fit in my van and get help putting said object in the car. That part was actually not much of an ordeal, but the problem was that I had to get it out of my car all alone. So there I was, in the garage, pushing and pulling like an idiot to get this monstrosity out of my car. Time was running out because I had to pick up the kids from daycare before they closed. I was really stressing because there was literally NO way I could get the kids without getting this thing out of my car first. Finally, I did get the object out, and I only suffered minor injuries.

I knew that I could breathe a big sigh of relief once I got the kids from daycare on time. Except, I couldn’t, because it was Monday. The special surprise waiting there at daycare for me was a notice that two lice cases had been reported at the daycare center, five had been reported at the after school program, and one was reported at Harrison’s pre-k. There is nothing worse than the impending doom of lice. The itchy paranoia of tiny bugs taking up residence on my children’s heads has still not left me. They are, however, doused in tea tree oil.

After the little heads were checked, bodies bathed, and mouths fed, Justin came home and reminded me that we had a sitter so we could go out for his birthday. Although I had forgotten this small detail, I figured it would be nice. That’s when I realized that I’m eating vegan for the month (don’t ask) and we were going to the best Italian restaurant in town. Do you know what kind of strength it takes a person to sit amidst ricotta, mozzarella, and parmesan, and keep her hands to herself?? Our server, who happens to be a friend, assured me that my order was in fact vegan, and you know what? I don’t care if she was lying. There is only so much saving of animal lives that one can do after a day like that.